2013

Title: 2013

Logline: After the Earth explodes into chunks, NASA scientist
Dirk Winterbottom must travel from chunk to chunk saving members
of his extended family.

Pitch: Now I know you're saying, wait a minute, wasn't there a
2012? Is this some kind of sequel? Well I will respond, no,
this isn't some lame sequel to that bullshit John Cusack movie.
See here's the deal, the Earth doesn't end in 2012 because THE
MAYANS WERE ONE YEAR OFF! So 2012 comes and goes, everybody
breathes a sigh of relief, right? Our main man Dirk Winterbottom
is a NASA scientist working on a top secret space shuttle. He's
so dedicated to his job that he decides to pass up Thanksgiving
dinner with his extended family to put the finishing touches on
his ship. But then, all of a sudden, at 6:36 P.M. on Thursday,
November 28th 2013...
BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EARTH EXPLODES MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
WHOO!!!
THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES!!!
And where, pray tell, is the epicenter of this explosion? Why
it's at Dirk's cousin's house, where his family is having
Thanksgiving dinner! So the Earth explodes into 12 separate
chunks, and it's up to Dirk to use his just completed super secret
spaceship to travel from chunk to chunk saving his family. The
first family member he saves? His catty ex-wife Kathy! So Dirk
and Kathy travel to the other chunks, but there's a catch. See,
turns out the Earth's core was highly irradiated, and when it
exploded it mutated each chunk that came out. So Dirk and Kathy
have to navigate 11 treachourous worlds to save the day. They'll
fight Jaguarmen on Jungleworld, Giant Yetis on Snowworld, Lavamen
on Lavaworld, and that's just a taste of the adventures they'll
have. How does it end? You'll just have to make it into a movie
to find out!